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Forced Rest

After a year and 3 months of silence I am back!!
My break has caused me to question the lay-out and overall look of this blog. I will be doing some remodeling so please excuse the occasional change. Also do let me know if you have any suggestions or critiques for the blog.

I've been sick.
Not my usual irritated throat and swollen glands sickness. This was the full out unable to function, aching body and complete disorientation type sickness. I tried to work through it on Monday but that only led to my symptoms getting worse and forcing me to stay home Tuesday and Wednesday. Like most people I loathe being sick and do not like having to change or delay my life because of it. But as I lay on my couch yesterday and gave in to the pain raging in my body I wondered what I was really fighting.
Was this really unnecessary? Sickness isn't everyone's idea of a divine intervention but I was seriously thinking about what the Lord wanted to teach me in this moment of forced rest. I did not want to stop my life and remain still but there was nothing I could do to change my circumstance. I desired to work, to do things that would make me feel useful, accomplished, important even. Yet, here I was, helpless against this invisible storm rumbling through my limbs. As I lay there I was reminded of how fragile I was. I was so aware of my limited influence, ability and strength. I am mortal, flawed, prone to weakness and failure.
In this moment I desired to counter these emotions and thoughts, to feel able in this moment of inability. How could I affirm myself, my identity and my worth when I was not doing something?
That was it. This struggle between working to affirm my worth and struggling against my inability. That was what the Lord wanted me to meditate on. In my realization I repented of my desire to 'save' myself and lay in silence, reveling at the salvation I had received freely through Jesus Christ.
Thank You Lord for the moments, in sickness and in health, where You cause me to be still and reflect upon Your grace and power in my life. Thank You God that You begin where I end.

"Moses answered the people, 'Do not be afraid. Stand firm and you will see the deliverance the LORD will bring you today. The Egyptians you see today you will never see again. The LORD will fight for you; you need only to be still.'"
--Exodus 14:13-14

Comments

  1. So this is why you missed C&C tonight!! We missed you =( I'll be praying for you, so feel better soon. I think this is a good reminder. It's all about redeeming the time. God is really able to get through to us when we are still; even more so when we are weakened. Thanks for this!

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